Observations.

"Ah, a bit of antisemitic breast."

Parenting.

"I don't want to have kids. Well just not with you. Maybe with someone else."

Daily Check-In

me - "What did you do today?"
him - "I masturbated three times. The first two were about you. Two out of three aint bad. You should be grateful."

Growing Up

"For me, nothing has changed since I was 15. Except now I get a bit more pussy."

Race

"Sometimes I wish I wasn't so fucking pure."

Personal reflection.

"I'm high quality. Women's soccer is beneath me."

Relationships.

"We work well together because you know just how much sex to give me to keep me interested."

Promiscuity.

"I once fucked a girl that looked like Precious."

Defining flatulence.

"The window was down. The fart doesn't count if the window is down."

Intimacy.

"I like your fat fingers. They make my willie look big."

Sharing with friends.

Him - "Have a showboat Greg." (referring to motor boating my boobs)

Greg - "Maybe later."

Me - "Its called motor boating."

Greeting after work.

"Hello Chubby/Chunky!"

Sexual experimentation.

Him - "I don't think I could ever fuck a dude."

Me - "Would you fuck Greg?"

Him - "No!"

Him - "Maybe if he had a dress on."

Defining sex.

"It doesn't count unless I cum."

Referring to an african american woman passing by.

"She looks like a slave."

Feeling debonair.

"We don't need toys. This dick never runs out of batteries."

Feeling sexy.

"Your vagina smells like the good 'ol days."

Greeting me after work.

"How are you chunky?"

Feeling romantic.

"I love you."

*sigh*

"I don't even lie to you anymore."

Over dinner.

Him - "You have bingo wings."

Me - "What are bingo wings?"

Him - "You know when old ladies play bingo and they win? They wave their flabby arms and yell BINGO! and their arm flab waves like a wing. Its called bingo wings."

While getting dressed.

"You have perky breasts for a woman of your age."
(I'm 29)

While rubbing my ass.

"I think I'm into fat girls now."